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Mark Batey's avatar

I'm finding the same with dealing with a romantic breakup that happened a couple of months ago. I keep circling round and round the events of the relationship, journalling every day, about 50,000 words so far, writing poems, song lyrics, even a constantly edited allegorical short story, all trying to make sense of what happened. My take on it is constantly evolving as the weeks pass. I try not to talk to friends and family about it, as I can see they are thinking that I should just let it go, but my mind hangs on, not I think out of desperation, but because it wants to form a coherent theory about why it happened as it did. I find AI useful, talking into the app, seeing how the algorithm summarises and comments on what I am thinking. At least it never gets bored. Maybe once I land on an explanation that convinces me I will be able to move on, I don't know. But you are right about autistic brains spiralling around an anchor point, at least that is my experience.

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Simon Turner's avatar

Fellow pattern mapper here. I am experiencing this first hand with the processing of a shifted dynamic in an inner personal relationship. As I navigate the recursion, I am met with concern from friends and loved ones. "Don't let it consume you." To which I reply, that's exactly what I need to do. So long as I am able to continue engaging with other areas of my life, I see it as harmless at least, if not an integral part of gleaning every morsel of what needs to be gleaned.

As I have allowed myself to return to the loop as many times as I need to, giving grace and honoring the process, I have found that I not only feel more free to engage other areas of my life, but that the wealth of understanding that comes from the recursion is informing those areas as well.

This is not a process I am new to, but one that can often get blocked, as mentioned. The element that I am so interested in most recently, is becoming more sensitive to detecting when I need to shift a dynamic to allow for the recursion to happen more seamlessly.

My notes app has over a dozen notes. My journal is full of ink scribbled pages; all saying the same thing but slightly different. In a classic DSM model, this is obsession. But as I scan the contents of each piece, I recognize the brilliance in approaching the same scenario using different language/rhetoric. Not only does this allow me to practice expressing my thoughts for different audiences if need be, it also adds important details to the map, filling in gaps and contributing the overall idea of interconnectivity.

Well timed article per usual. God speeeeed.

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